New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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