Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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