Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
