Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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