Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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