I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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