I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
