haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
