I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
