i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
This house was built for laser tag.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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