you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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