So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
