just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
