never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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