I think I won the penis lottery.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
