I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
