You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
