Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize