yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
