I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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