I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
