At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
