The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
