I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
