How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
