Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
