garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i need to put some appletini on your dick
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
