Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
