I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
