Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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