why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
