well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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