How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize