jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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