dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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