he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
