I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
