the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Someone came in the potted fern
Holy sore nipples Batman
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
