Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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