He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
