you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
