I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
