Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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