ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
