We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
