Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
