look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
