Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Two words: blizzard sex
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
