I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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