that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
