I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
