Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
