everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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