You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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