i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
