Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He kissed a someone with a penis
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
my liver is dry heaving
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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