Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
