I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
