Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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