I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize