I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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