hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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